How Long Should You Go No Contact

When Should I Contact My Ex Girlfriend?

How long should you keep up the no contact rule?

Timing is everything. This will hold true all throughout your life, and it's especially true after an unwanted breakup.

Just as there's a time to pull away and distance yourself from your ex girlfriend, there's also a time to reconnect. You'll want to do this at exactly the right moment, and you'll also want to do it correctly.

Somewhere between breaking up and losing your ex for good is a small window of opportunity. This is when your ex girlfriend misses you most, and it's also when she's most receptive to hearing from you again.

By now you've already familiarized yourself with the pitfalls of contacting her too soon. Pushing too hard and too fast is one of the bigger mistakes guys make while trying to reverse their breakup.

At the same time, waiting too long is almost as bad. Nothing will break your heart faster than finding out that your girlfriend has moved on, and is now dating a new boyfriend... all because you might've moved too slowly.

So when's the right time to call?

When should you get back in touch?

How do you make first contact with your ex, and what should you say to her when you do get her back on the phone with you?

Knowing When Your Ex Girlfriend Really Misses You

First, you should never try calling or contacting your ex until you've given her time to really miss you. This means you've already gone NO contact whatsoever for a good amount of time.

Next, you should be able to recognize and identify the signs and signals given off when your ex still has feelings for you.

The No Contact Rule
The more thoroughly you disappear
from your girlfriend's life, the greater
her need to hear from you again

Remember, the less she knows about you right now, the better. The longer your ex goes without hearing from you, the more she'll need to know.

The more time your ex spends alone, the harder it will be to let go of you. 'Out of sight, out of mind' is complete bullshit: it's more along the lines of 'Absense makes the heart grow fonder".

You want to go completely away. By doing this, you create a void in your ex girlfriend's life.

If you're constantly trying to get back in touch or tell her how your life has been, your girlfriend will have little need or desire to stay connected to you.

By always pushing unwanted contact in her direction, you can quickly become annoying. You'll know when this happens, and if it's already happened that's all the more reason for you to snap your phone in half and throw it over your shoulder right now.

When To Make First Contact With Your Ex

The week after you break up is the most critical part of any split, and also of the entire get back ex process. What you do during this time period will determine whether your girlfriend still admires and respects you, or whether she sees you as a desperate, needy mess.

Truth be told, you need to go at least a month without seeing, hearing from, talking to, emailing, or texting your ex girlfriend.

Obviously this doesn't count running into her unexpectedly, or if your ex actually calls you. There are ways of getting your ex to call you and make that first contact herself, so be sure to incorporate these methods along the road to getting her back.

And if she does call you right away? IGNORE HER.

Maybe she's calling to pick up her things, or maybe she's calling to beg you to take her back - either way, it doesn't matter. By ignoring your ex girlfriend's first few attempts at contact you're creating the illusion that you've totally moved on to bigger and better things.

You're also making her worry that she can't get you back anymore, and this will drive her crazy with wanting to know what you're doing (and who you're doing it with).

Waiting Out The No Contact Phase

By waiting at least five or six weeks after the breakup you're maximizing the chance for a successful reunion by putting yourself in a very strong position.

First Contact With Ex Girlfriend
Only call your ex girlfriend when
she's most susceptible to contact

This is just long enough so that your ex isn't thinking you still want her back. Because (in her mind) if this was your ultimate goal, you certainly would've tried long before now.

And because your ex thinks you're not trying to get her back? Her guard is now down. She's not defensive, and she's not poised to push you away.

In fact, she's probably very curious to know where you've been, and she'll be a lot nicer, sweeter, and more receptive to you when you do get back in touch with her.

THIS is when you should be calling your ex girlfriend, and not a single minute before. That said, you also need to know what you're going to say to her once you get her on the phone, because it's not like the right words are going to magically come to you.

How To Handle Making First Contact

The first time you talk to your ex girlfriend after the breakup should always be by phone. You're definitely not ready to see her face to face just yet, and anything less than a phone call is just way too impersonal.

Texting your ex is silly, immature, and childish. Nothing good can come out of it, so it's always best to avoid making first contact through text-message.

Emails, although marginally better as communication tools, are still not the way to go. Not if you haven't talked to your ex in several weeks, and are looking to make a direct connection.

Calling your ex girlfriend is something that also needs be done at the right time of day. Don't call your ex in the morning, as she's getting ready to go out. Don't call her at work, at school, or at her friend's house either. If she's too busy to talk to you, the entire call loses its effectiveness.

Phoning your ex in the evening, as she's more relaxed and has more time to talk, is the ideal situation. Try to time your phone call so that you catch her before bed, when the sun is down, and when she's more likely to be missing or thinking about you.

Talking To Your Ex After The Breakup

During the phone call, you want to remain calm. You want to stay cool. Most of all, you want to come off as totally confident.

You want your ex to visualize you doing well without her, and not riding out the breakup with hopes of getting her back. This is why you need to keep the call short, crisp, and to the point... and the point of the first contact phone call is to implant yourself back in your ex girlfriend's head.

Ex Girlfriend Calling
Fighting with your ex girlfriend?
NOT a good idea if you want her back.
Lime green striped V-neck shirt?
Not really a good idea EVER.

There are also a number of things you should avoid talking about when making that first phone call.

For one, no matter what happens, don't talk about your breakup.

There's no reason to rehash things right now, and talking about your separation will only lead to one or both of you placing blame on each other for past misdeeds.

Blame gives way to arguing, which will invariably lead to fighting. And if you really want to get her back, the last thing you should be engaging in is a heated, rage-fueled shouting match with your ex girlfriend.

Remember, you called her. You want your ex to open up to you, not go immediately on the defensive. You need to be relaxed and cool, casual and funny, and above everything else, appealing to her.

You also need to talk about the things your ex is interested in, which is why you should probably let her do all of the talking.

What If Your Ex Is Still Unresponsive?

If your ex girlfriend doesn't seem happy to hear from you after a few weeks of no contact, different measures need to be taken. It could be that something else is up, or maybe she's thinking of moving on with another relationship.

In both cases, you'll need to act quickly. Her feelings for you may be rapidly subsiding, and she may be finding it easier and easier to forget about the emotional bonds tying her to your past relationship.

What needs to happen in this case is a total reversal of the way she feels toward you. The best way to accomplish this is through proven mind techniques designed specifically to work on the female psyche.

Start by checking out these audio tips, which will set you on the road to manipulating the way your exgirlfriend sees and acts toward you.

From there, make sure you read the basic guidelines of Matt Huston's wildly popular EX2 Ex Girlfriend System:

Matt Huston Ex Girlfriend Guru

• Taylor-made to work solely on the female mindset.

• Designed to work on an ex girlfriend who's ignoring you or pushing you away.

• Techniques that work under any breakup situation.

• FAST, immediate results!

 

 
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