The first time you talk to your ex girlfriend after the breakup should always be by phone. You're definitely not ready to see her face to face just yet, and anything less than a phone call is just way too impersonal.
Texting your ex is silly, immature, and childish. Nothing good can come out of it, so it's always best to avoid making first contact through text-message.
Emails, although marginally better as communication tools, are still not the way to go. Not if you haven't talked to your ex in several weeks, and are looking to make a direct connection.
Calling your ex girlfriend is something that also needs be done at the right time of day. Don't call your ex in the morning, as she's getting ready to go out. Don't call her at work, at school, or at her friend's house either. If she's too busy to talk to you, the entire call loses its effectiveness.
Phoning your ex in the evening, as she's more relaxed and has more time to talk, is the ideal situation. Try to time your phone call so that you catch her before bed, when the sun is down, and when she's more likely to be missing or thinking about you.
Talking To Your Ex After The Breakup
During the phone call, you want to remain calm. You want to stay cool. Most of all, you want to come off as totally confident.
You want your ex to visualize you doing well without her, and not riding out the breakup with hopes of getting her back. This is why you need to keep the call short, crisp, and to the point... and the point of the first contact phone call is to implant yourself back in your ex girlfriend's head.
Fighting with your ex girlfriend?
NOT a good idea if you want her back.
Lime green striped V-neck shirt?
Not really a good idea EVER.
There are also a number of things you should avoid talking about when making that first phone call.
For one, no matter what happens, don't talk about your breakup.
There's no reason to rehash things right now, and talking about your separation will only lead to one or both of you placing blame on each other for past misdeeds.
Blame gives way to arguing, which will invariably lead to fighting. And if you really want to get her back, the last thing you should be engaging in is a heated, rage-fueled shouting match with your ex girlfriend.
Remember, you called her. You want your ex to open up to you, not go immediately on the defensive. You need to be relaxed and cool, casual and funny, and above everything else, appealing to her.
You also need to talk about the things your ex is interested in, which is why you should probably let her do all of the talking.