Okay, so we now know that giving space is bad. If that's the case, what should you do?
First, understand that there are two kinds of 'space' you can give your girlfriend. The kind that's on her terms, and the kind that's on yours.
Spending Time Apart on Your Girlfriend's Terms
When you accept taking time off from your relationship because your girlfriend suggested it, you're putting her in the driver's seat. She gets to call the shots, make the rules, and decide when (and if) this temporary 'break' from your romance is finally over.
This usually happens when you're deathly afraid of losing her. You're so wrapped up in the possibility she might break up with you that you're willing to sacrifice all control over what happens next in the relationship.
This is where 'giving her space' really kicks your ass. How long does she need you to leave her alone? You have no idea. Moreover, she has no idea. But the good news for her is that because she's in control, she also gets to decide when enough is enough.
Never allow your girlfriend to dictate the
rules or terms of your breakup. Ever.
Making things even more complicated, the rules of such a break are never set in stone. Is your girlfriend allowed to see other guys? You can't even ask a question like that without crowding her space. You can't keep tabs on her, because any and all contact you make could be construed as you trying to smother her.
Should you see other girls? She never told you to, so you'll be pretty hesitant to do so. The sight of you even holding hands with some other girl might destroy any chance for reconciliation... or so you'd think. For this reason, it's likely that you'll sit back patiently and wait for her to come back. Like a chump.
Remember this: once you show your girlfriend that you're actually afraid of losing her? It's all over. Once she realizes you'll do anything to get her back, she's got no incentive whatsoever to jump back into a relationship with you.
Giving your girlfriend 'space' simply because she asked for it is like giving up ship. You can initiate no contact. No intimacy. No sex. No anything.
You have to sit there quietly and patiently, as if you're being punished, until she decides when your punishement is over.
Agreeing to some time apart is a sucker move. Right now, you're much better off giving your girlfriend the exact opposite of what she expects and wants.
Taking a Break From The Relationship on Your OWN Terms
Want a much better move? One designed to get your ex chasing after you?
You're still going to give your girlfriend some space, but you're going to do it the right way. You're going to give her TOO much space, and that's what's going to freak her out.
Imagine your girlfriend asks for some space or time apart, and you tell her:
"You want space? Nah. What's that going to do? It's not like being apart is going to improve our relationship."
Before she can put up her version of an argument, continue with:
"You're right about the relationship, though. Things aren't good between us. Maybe we should just go our separate ways, and let that be the end of it."
In the blink of an eye, her bid for space just turned into an flat-out breakup. And the good news? Suddenly the breakup was ALL YOUR IDEA.
Did you feel that? It's the balance of power. And it just shifted in your favor.
Your girlfriend will scramble to do damage control when faced with this type of scenario. A breakup is NOT what she wants. Remember, she was looking for a longer leash. She wanted some space to do her own thing, while you hung around waiting for her in case she wanted to return.
Here however, you're initiating your own breakup. You're pushing her out of the cozy little nest she built, way before she's ready to fly on her own.
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