Okay, so you want her back and you've been trying just about everything. So far nothing has worked. So what next? What can you do to win back your ex girlfriend?
If you've ever tried to solve a problem and failed, you know you need to make adjusments. Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting some kind of a different result, is going to get you nowhere.
That said, you need to realize that you can't get your girlfriend to want you back until you've made some changes. And to win her over, they'll need to be changes made in a positive - not negative - direction.
You can't stop your breakup from happening
by trying to change your ex's mind
Does this mean that getting your ex back requires you to alter or change yourself?
Not even close.
But it does mean changing your approach in such a way that your ex girlfriend isn't expecting what's next.
It means stopping what you're currently doing and coming in from a much different angle.
Everything you do and say after your girlfriend breaks up with you is crazy important. This is where you need to stop the begging, pleading, chasing, and reasoning with your exgirlfriend NOT to break up with you, and start making the following adjustments to your efforts on getting her back:
Stop Trying To Change Her Mind About The Breakup
The biggest mistake guys make? Thinking they can change an ex's mind once she announces that she wants to break up with them. These guys waste the first two weeks after the breakup (a crucial time period) arguing and fighting with their ex to explain why they shouldn't be breaking up with them in the first place.
Begging and pleading...
you're only pushing her away
But guess what? Her decision is made. The longer you fight it, the more combative you seem. The harder you push for a quick reconciliation, the longer she'll be prone to continue the breakup.
Your ex made up her mind way before she sat down to dump you. Accept it, and you actually become a type of ally. Roll with it, and you're on her side. Agree with the breakup, and there's suddenly nothing for her to fight you over.
And on top of all that? She'll be astounded at how easily you were able to let her go. This will confuse your ex, because she's expecting all sorts of resistance.
She's expecting you to break out the big guns and begin bargaining and trying to present your case for stopping the breakup. When you don't, it's an amazing turnaround. It becomes the beginning of a new approach; one that gets your ex girlfriend see you in a whole different - and much more positive - way.
Never Let Her Know How Much You Still Need Her
Since the breakup, how many times have you told your exgirlfriend that you still love her? A hundred? A thousand? Have you told her how much you miss her? How much you're always thinking about her?
You need to stop this sappy baby crap immediately and put on your game face. Yes, of course you still love her. Of course you want her back. But the more you keep telling her this? The less and less your ex girlfriend will actually want YOU.
Stop it. No, really.
Makes no sense to you? Look at it this way: When you already have something, you don't want it half as much as when you're still trying to get it.
This means that as long as your ex knows she has you in her pocket, she's got no incentive to try and still get you. You become an accessory - an afterthought - something she rarely even thinks about.
If you're telling your ex girlfriend you love her, need her, can't live without her... these things are killing you right now. They're causing your ex to be uncomfortable with contact and making her turn a blind eye to you.
Get past this stuff quickly, because you'll rapidly become someone she marks and both needy and desperate. She'll see you as weak, and she'll see you as needing her more than she ever actually needed you. From there, getting her back becomes nearly impossible.
Your Ex Girlfriend is NOT Your Friend... Period
Did your ex girlfriend break up with you but she still calls? Got dumped, but she's still emailing you? Do innocent little text-messages show up on your phone from your exgirlfriend, just to say hello?
These attempts at being your friend are something a lot more sinister: your ex trying to keep you hanging on. The very fact that she's still reaching out means that your ex girlfriend isn't 100% sure she wants to lose you yet... and so she's trying to befriend you in the meantime, while she looks for the next great catch.
The longer you stay friendly with an ex girlfriend after the breakup, the more comfortable you're making her. Getting her back is all about making her uncomfortable. Getting your ex to miss you is all about withdrawing yourself completely from her life... not sitting around in a friendship role with a pretend smile and a shoulder to lean on.
Don't let your ex play phone
buddies after the breakup
So when she calls? Tell her you're busy.
When she texts? Don't respond.
When your ex emails you? Don't even answer or hit reply.
And if she continues down this path, you need to gently remind her: "Hey, you broke up with me. Remember?"
Let her know you're not doing the "let's be friends" thing. Let your ex realize you'll be moving on with your own life, rather than sitting around by the phone waiting to play back and forth games with her.
To get your girlfriend back you always need to take yourself away first. You need to learn these reversal techniques that can make your ex miss you faster than she ever thought she would. Do this, and you're already well on your way to reversing your breakup.