When your ex finally agrees to meet up with you, it might seem like you're home free. Yet before you go counting your chickens, you need to make sure not to blow it.
The reunion date is important. It needs to go correctly. You've already had a bunch of goals along the road to getting your girlfriend back, and similarly, there are certain goals you should keep in mind when meeting up with your ex for that crucial first time.
Your reunion date should be fun, casual, and as non-awkward as possible.
As excited as you are, you need to keep it cool. Don't be overanxious, and don't be overly affectionate. At the same time however, you want to be warm and welcoming. As a general rule, you want to make your ex comfortable.
Remember: your girlfriend is nervous too. She doesn't want things to be awkward. If she agreed to meet with you, it's because she's already curious. She's probably already entertaining the idea of taking you back as well, but let's not put the cart before the horse.
Some basic things to remember while on the reunion date:
Be confident, cool, & relaxed - The more casually you approach meeting your ex, the better it's going to go. Make sure you go into the reunion date without any expectations. Treat it as something fun, and not as something monumentally important. As soon as you yourself are able to relax, so will your ex girlfriend.
Let her talk - A lot has probably happened since the breakup, and you and your ex have much to catch up on. Let your ex do most of the talking, and save most of your own experiences for next time. Your goal isn't to catch up all at once, it's to make her need to see you again.
Make her laugh - You don't have to put on a comedy routine, but you do have to make your ex laugh. Before meeting up with her, have a funny story or two ready - maybe something that happened to you while you were apart. Getting her to laugh will open her up more, and put your ex girlfriend at ease around you.
Don't mention the breakup - There's nothing wrong with talking up the good times that you and your ex had together. That said, you should always avoid the subject of your breakup. Remember, you're here to reconnect on a face-to-face level, and to have fun with your ex. You're not here to figure out what happened, assign blame, or try to 'fix' anything.
Leave her wanting more - Again, taking an early exit from the reunion date is a good idea. This is why you chose lunch or coffee for your first meeting, and not something too long and drawn out. Remember: you didn't come here just to see your ex, you came to make sure she has a good time in seeing YOU. When it's finally time to leave, there should be lots of things still left to say. She should have lots of questions she still wants to ask you, and this will lead to a second and third meeting.
When seeing your ex girlfriend, be sure to keep things light and friendly. When she asks about you, make sure to get excited. Be animated about how things have been going for you lately, and have a few good things already lined up that you can tell her about.
Remember, you're trying to sell yourself. Your ex won't want you back until you've become interesting and desirable again.
No matter what happens, don't tell her you miss her. Don't spill your guts, get bleary-eyed, or tell your ex girlfriend how miserable you've been since the breakup. This kind of garbage will TURN HER OFF faster than a bolt of lightning. Your ex wants a man who can be independent and self-sufficient, so make sure you show her one.
Ending the reunion date so that your ex wants to see you again
When it's time to go, make sure you leave things on a positive note. Don't let the meeting stretch out too long, or go into any periods of awkward silence.
Pay the bill, and let your ex girlfriend know it was great to see her again. Give her a hug, and a quick kiss on the cheek. Tell her the two of you should do it again soon, and then walk away.
A good reunion date should leave
your ex wanting to see you again. Soon.
Make sure you look her in the eyes, too, while you're doing all this. Be confident, not squirrely. Remember that a relationship is a partnership: your ex should want you as much as you still want her.
Unless you did something legitimately wrong, getting back together should never be about saying your sorry. It shouldn't be about begging your ex to take you back, or being 'thankful' that she's allowing you the priveledge of dating her again.
No, getting her back should be about realizing how much you BOTH miss and love each other, and then wanting to give your romance a second shot. It's about recognizing the need to still have each other around, as a part of each others lives, and then acting upon that need.
Instead of going into the breakup thinking you'd be lucky to get your ex back, go into it thinking she'd be lucky to have you back. When you approach it this way, confidence is inevitable. Go about it from the opposite angle, and you're already setting yourself up for rejection and failure.