Okay, the moment finally arrives when you and your ex girlfriend are back on the phone together. So... what do you say?
Well for starters, the less you say the better.
Sounds weird, right? I mean, you've waited so long to talk to her again, so why wouldn't you talk?
Understand that in the beginning at least, less is always more. Although you have lots to say to her right now, you don't want to overwhelm your ex girlfriend with a bunch of small talk. You also don't want to talk about any heavy subjects either, such as the topic of your breakup.
Most of all, you want to leave your ex wanting more. By not giving away everything all at once, you're making it much more likely that your girlfriend will want (and hopefully need) to talk to you a second and third time.
So when your ex finally does call you up, you'll want the conversation to go something like this:
"Hey stranger, how's it going?"
Remember: casual. Don't come off all goofy, but you want to break the ice by not being so serious. Your ex girlfriend expects a lot of tension in your first conversation, and she'll be relieved when you don't bring any with you.
"It's good to hear from you. How've you been?"
You're being friendly here, and you're still casual. You're letting her know you're glad to hear from her, and you're giving your ex a chance to tell you what she's been up to.
Always let her do most of the talking.
At the same time, you're not prying for info. You're not asking anything specific, or trying to peek into her post-breakup life.
Basically, you're letting her tell you what's been up with her. You've probably been apart for a while now, and there are new developments in her life she'll definitely be willing to share with you.
Best of all, you're getting her to talk about herself. This makes your ex comfortable. It relaxes her, and gives her the freedom to reveal only what she wants to reveal.
No matter what your ex girlfriend talks about, let her run with it. Be interested. Ask a little bit, but let her elaborate on her own. Talk about work, school, her job, her family... a little bit of small talk will go a long way toward keeping the whole conversation smooth and uninterrupted.
Eventually, she's going to ask about YOU. This is where you need to be careful, because you don't want to say too much.
Remember, it's been a while. You've disappeared, and she hasn't known anything about where you've been. Your ex is already VERY curious about you. She'll want to know who you've been hanging around with, and what you've been doing without her, since the break up.
And this is the perfect time to end the phone call.
"Listen, I hate to do this but I really have to run. I've got a million things going on this week... why don't you give me a call next week, if you want to catch up some more?"
Many, many things get accomplished here.
First and most important, YOU'RE the one ending the phone call. This destroys any last trace of neediness or desperation, because if you'd still wanted your ex back you would never rush off the phone with her.
Next, your ex will want to know why you're hanging up so quickly. What could possibly be so important that you'd cut the call short with her? Suddenly, your priorities seem to have changed. She's not on the top of the list anymore... something (or someone) else is.
Also note: you didn't say you'd call her. You told HER to call YOU. This is pretty slick, because you're putting the idea in her head before she could say no. And even more slick? You suggested she call you, almost as if you don't care whether or not she actually does.
Doubt: The precursor
to changing her mind.
Last, you told her to get back in touch with you next week. Why? Because this week is shot for you. You're so busy this week that you don't even have time for your ex girlfriend... and THAT's what's going to stick in her mind the most.
In the blink of an eye, your ex is suddenly wondering what the hell you could possibly be doing, and why it's apparently so much more important than hearing from her.
Remember, the less information you give your ex girlfriend about yourself the more she'll start building you up in her mind. In a very short time you'll go from jilted ex-lover to someone who's obviously moving on with his life.
"Is he seeing someone else? Did he already meet some other girl?"
These are only some of the questions she'll ask herself once you've blown her off on the phone. And if your ex has ANY doubts about the breakup whatsoever, they're going to rise immediately to the surface after this one simple phone call.
Rejection is powerful. Used correctly, it can drive your ex right back into your arms again, with only a minimum of effort.
Alright, let's talk about the final few moves you'll need to get her back:
Step 6: Seeing & Meeting Up With Your Ex Girlfriend