Rather than tell you what you should be doing after your girlfriend breaks up with you, let's take a look at a quick example.
Breakup Scenario 1:
Amber breaks up with her boyfriend, Matt. After some failed reasoning and a few promises that "things will be different", Matt slinks dejectedly away from the breakup speech, trying to figure out his next move.
The next morning, Matt wakes up in a panic. The thought of losing his girlfriend hits him like a ton of bricks. He immediately springs to action, running full tilt down every possible avenue he thinks will help get her back.
And so he calls. He stutters over his own words, not sure what to say. Amber is cold to him; clinical, and dismissive. The conversations are short, awkward, and totally unproductive.
Matt moves into emails and text-messages. He tells his ex that her he loves her... that "he'll change", and that they can still be good together as a couple. After waiting anxiously for a while, he gets no response.
Feeling as if he's losing her more quickly than ever, Matt pours his heart out into a 15-page love letter. He tucks it into the sweetest Hallmark card he can find, along with a single red rose he bought on impulse while filling his truck up at the gas station. (SIDE NOTE: Gas station roses are never a good idea)
Next Matt drives to where Amber works, pinning his note to the windshield of her car. From there he races home, waiting for some kind of positive response from all his hard work.
The End Result:
Amber thinks Matt is a total dickhole.
Not only won't he leave her alone, but he looks desperate and pathetic in his scrambling attempts to win her back.
Although she humored his first few phone calls, Matt's constant push for communication has driven her to avoid him. She doesn't answer his calls, emails, or text-messages because she has nothing new to say.
And as if the calls and texts weren't bad enough, her ex driving up to Amber's job to leave something on the car was borderline frightening. It instantly makes her realize she can do better... much better, in fact. It's almost shocking that she's been wasting her time with such a desperate loser.
As the very last shred of respect she had for Matt disappears, Amber sets her sights elsewhere. It's now easy for her to let go of the relationship, mostly because her ex boyfriend's obsessive behavior just poisoned what was left of the good memories they shared together.
Breakup Scenario 2:
Amber breaks up with Matt, citing reasons for ending the relationship. But rather than fight her on these things, Matt shrugs, nods his head, and tells her that she's right. Things have been bad. Maybe they should break up. Confused but relieved, Amber walks away wondering just how long Matt has felt this way about their relationship.
The next day, Amber wakes up and rehashes the breakup in her mind. She wonders why Matt gave up without a fight. She also tries to figure out reasons he might be unhappy enough to walk away without even trying to fix things between them. This makes her feel a little bit rejected, as if Matt has always planned to move on to other things.
When your ex misses you, you're
already halfway to getting her back
A few days go by. Amber checks her phone. There are still no calls or text messages from her now ex boyfriend. Her email inbox is empty, and she hasn't heard anything at all.
Later on, Amber hears from a friend that Matt's been spotted out with his buddies, hanging out at the same places they used to frequent together as a couple. Apparently the breakup hasn't affected him at all, because he's been seen laughing and smiling and having a great time. This somehow makes Amber jealous, and she's not even sure why.
After more silence, Amber begins having conflicting thoughts. Maybe breaking up was a mistake. Her ex doesn't just seem fine, he actually seems better off without her. She's borderline angry, but at the same time she misses him.
The End Result:
Since Matt hasn't called or contacted her at all, Amber's had a long time to sit and process things ALONE... all by herself. She finds herself reminiscing about the good times they had as a couple. Maybe things weren't that bad. Maybe in losing her boyfriend, she's actually missing out. And this is where Amber starts looking for reasons to call her ex, talk to him, and to possibly work out the issues needed to get back together again.