Contacting Your Ex Girlfriend

Initiating Contact With Your Ex Girlfriend

How to make that crucial first connection beyond the breakup

Did your girlfriend end things with you, but you still want her back? Chances are she still has some level of feelings or emotions toward you, but she's trying to bury them in order to move forward.

Getting her to think and feel those things is crucial to making her want you again, but first you'll need to establish contact. Below are some great guidelines when it comes to contacting your ex girlfriend.

Going Through a Girlfriend Breakup
Breaking up - It's only as
final as you make it

The path to reconciliation can sometimes be long, but somewhere along the line you'll need to make some kind of ex girlfriend contact. So what do you do? When should you call or get in touch with your ex? And once you do, what exactly should you say? The answers to these questions vary slightly from situation to situation, but for the most part, the same basic approach will put you back in your girlfriend's head again.

First however, you'll need to break contact. Yes, you probably heard this a million times before... but the no-contact approach to winning your ex back is a 100% necessary prerequisite to anything else you might do. Right after your ex terminates your relationship is not the time to approach her.

Too many guys make the same mistake: hounding their exgirlfriends immediately after they break up with them. If you think you can convince your ex to change her mind about being with you, think again.

The harder you push, the more you beg and plead... the faster she'll run in the other direction. Your ex has made up her mind to dump you right now, and that's what you have to do: be dumped. Let go of the notion that you can stop your break up, and start working toward a plan for building a new relationship - a bigger and better one - in the future.

By not contacting your ex, you're letting giving her what she thinks she wants. Without any emails, text-messages, or phone calls from you, her world will suddenly get very lonely.

She might've said she wants "her space", but believe me, she didn't want this much space. She'll fill some of it with friends and family, and try to go out and have fun... but you still need to resist the temptation to call her. Because at night? When she's home alone and getting ready for bed? Your ex is staring at the ceiling, wondering where you are. Trying to figure out what you're doing. Missing you, and not understanding why you haven't called or emailed her, or at least tried to get her back. And then you have her, because:

This is the optimal time to get in touch with your ex girlfriend.

How to Know When To Call Your Exgirlfriend

Timing is a critical part of making ex girlfriend contact, and the later hours of the evening are always the best time to reestablish a connection. When enough time has passed and you've both had some room to think things through, a well-placed phone call can really put yourself back in your ex girlfriend's mind.

Getting your ex back requires you to make a series of small connections - little baby steps - without going overboard. Therefore, if you're going to call your ex, you need to keep it short and sweet.

Above all else, you must also have a reason for calling your ex. Even if it's a smaller, less significant one, you should have something to tell her when you do make that connection.

Reason to Call Ex
Always have a reason before calling your ex

For example, maybe you noticed her favorite band is coming to town, or one of her favorite movies is coming out next week.

If you were close with her family, you could call to see how her mom was doing or how her brother made out when he went off to college this semester.

If your ex got a promotion, has an upcoming birthday, or had any type of positive thing happen in her life you could call just to say congratulations. Keep the reason small, and keep the conversation short. That combination of things will produce winning results, and is much better than getting into a long, sappy, drawn-out conversation with your ex girlfriend.

Once you're on the phone with her, don't go overboard. Be happy to hear from her, but don't act overjoyed or talk to quickly. S-L-O-W down. Speaking too quickly is the biggest error most guys make during ex girlfriend contact. If you talk too fast you'll come off as extremely nervous, and you don't want that. Play it cool and be confident. And try the following things:

  • Stay in control of what you say. Don't stray from the game plan, keep things simple.

  • Keep the conversation casual and fun. Ask what she's been up to in general, but don't pry for details.

  • Don't tell your ex girlfriend that you "miss her", unless you're saying it back because she said so first.

  • Don't tell her you've been "thinking about her" either... you're not trying to scare her away here.

  • Let your ex do most of the talking. If she's opening up enough to keep speaking, let her dominate the conversation.

  • Don't talk about the break up, your past relationship, or anything that's off limits.

  • Get off the phone within 4 to 5 minutes. Make an excuse that you "have to run", even if the conversation is going well.

If you take most or all of the above steps, any talk you have with your ex girlfriend is going to go smoothly. You'll get in and get out of the conversation without a hitch, and you'll have accomplished a major step on the road to getting her back: making first ex girlfriend contact.

This is a critical part of the reconciliation process, and one of the trickiest things to do. And by leaving the conversation early, before she really wanted you to, you actually leave her wanting more. This ensures that the next time you get in touch, she'll be receptive to it. Your ex will even be looking forward to hearing from you again.

You'll never get your ex back unless you have a step by step plan for success. Know what you're going to say before you say it, and be prepared for any type of obstacle your ex might throw your way while trying to get her back.

Signs That Your Ex Wants You To Contact Her

If you play your cards right, you should be able to get your girlfriend to miss you rather quickly after breaking up. At the very least, she should be curious about where you are.

This is why, toward the end of the no contact phase, your exgirlfriend is so receptive to communication. And if there are any links still connecting you as a couple (i.e. common friends, working for the same company, going to school together, etc...), this is where your ex will begin giving you certain 'go-ahead' signals to get back in touch with her.

Spotting these signs of interest is a critical part of the whole reunion process. A one-sided approach to getting her back will never work - instead, you need to get her to want to be back in your life again. This is what will ultimately fix your breakup, because not only will you start dating your ex again, but the new relationship will actually stick.


If you're in one of those relationships where you've broken up and gotten back together multiple times, then you already know how fragile a relationship can be. Your goal in this case should go past the simple act of getting her back, moving on to the more important aspect of your future romance: keeping her.

How To Get Her Back For Good

The best resource for this exact type of scenario? Get Her Back For Good.

This ultimate guidebook to halting and reversing your breakup has two main purposes. First, it shows you exactly what needs to be done in order to win back an ex girlfriend. Step by step, you'll learn what works and what doesn't.

But even more importantly, Dr. George Karanastasis also shows you how to keep your girlfriend happy so that she doesn't end up running off again. By maintaining a healthy and happy relationship, you don't have to worry about the constant threat of an unwanted breakup.

Your ex left you for a reason. KNOW that reason. Learn how to fix things between you, so that reason is no longer a factor.

Also be sure to check out the #1 reason you've failed to get her back so far. By not repeating the mistakes of the past, you can ensure future success in trying to reconcile with your ex girlfriend.

 
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