" But hey... we can still be FRIENDS... "
Sounds awesome, doesn't it? Staying friends with your ex?
I mean, it's not like you wanted a real relationship with her anymore, right?
Friendship then, must be the next best thing to going out with someone. You get to still see, talk to, and hear from your ex girlfriend... just without any of the closeness, romance, physical intimacy or sex.
But that's okay, right? You didn't really need those things, did you?
Yeah. Sure you didn't.
Alright, enough with the fantasy bullshit.
Nothing says 'consolation prize' better than being offered a big juicy pile of pseudo-friendship immediately after your girlfriend breaks up with you. It's the equivelent of her saying:
"Hey, I like you... just not enough to date you."
Friendship is a demotion. In fact, it's worse than a demotion. It's like getting asked to do the same job for half the benefits, and with no chance of future advancement.
Think about that. If your boss offered you a job like that, would you take it? Or would you tell him to shove it up his ass and look for something else... something along the lines of what you actually deserve?
Want a glimpse of what you have to look forward to by staying "friends" with your ex girlfriend after she dumps you? Here's what it looks like:
Yes... It really IS that awkward.
And there you go. It's pretty bad. Actually, it's worse than bad, because it's a situation you're not likely to ever break out of.
The friend zone is a prison. The only escape is the day you and your ex walk away, never to see each other again.
And guess what? That day will come sooner than you think. It will come the very second she meets someone else, because when that happens your friendship becomes nothing more than an annoying reminder of your ex girlfriend's previous lovelife.
It will also come on the day you meet someone else. Because if you think your new girlfriend is going to let you stay "friends" with your ex girlfriend, you'd better slap yourself in the head and think again.
There's no such thing as a mutual breakup
The main reason you can't stay friends with your ex girlfriend is because you still love her. No matter how much you pretend you don't, inwardly you still have feelings.
And you know what's funny? You'll convince yourself that you don't. You'll also convince yourself that your ex doesn't know you still love her, and that you've been playing it cool this whole time.
In reality though? Your ex girlfriend knows. Of course she knows, because no matter how you try to dumb down your emotional attachments, your true feelings will always bleed through.
Your ex will always know when you still love her. PERIOD. And if you're actively trying or hoping to get her back? This puts you in an even worse position than if you had no contact with your ex at all.
Still not convinced? Wanna see some pros and cons? Check them out:
The Benefits of Staying Friends With Your Ex
• Anxiety, nervousness, and sinking feelings of inadequacy
• Constant worry that she'll find someone else before you can get her back
• The awkwardness of never knowing when it's 'okay' to contact her
• The ever-present fear of your ex girlfriend meeting up with a new guy
• Having to smile and pretend to be 'happy for her' when she does
• Watching your ex happily live her new life without you in it
Sound good to you? Does it seem like it would be worth it? Of course not. Which is why staying friends after breaking up can only lead to more pain and heartache than if you'd just walked away.
Now let's take a look at what SHE gets from such an arrangement:
Benefits She Gets By Staying Friends With You
• The companionship of still having you 'around' when she wants you
• The convenience of being able to call upon you when she's bored
• The comfort of seeing where you are, and who you're hanging out with
• The advantage of knowing that you're always within easy reach
• The security of knowing she can get you back anytime
• The freedom to date anyone she wants, because she's now totally single
• The ability to shut you out from certain aspects of her private life
Totally awesome, isn't it? By staying friends, your girlfriend gets all the advantages of your past relationship without any of the drawbacks associated with being committed to you.
She gets friendship, you get heartache. She gets companionship, you get a front-row seat to watching her move on with her life... a life that will soon include some other guy instead of you. A guy who will crush your 'friendship' beneath the heel of his boot the very second he gets wind of it.