The steps below need to be done thoroughly and correctly. This means you can't skip any of them. There are no shortcuts.
You'll know when it's time to move from one step to the next. The progression will seem natural. Most of the time, your ex girlfriend will even help these steps along, by reacting to them in positive ways.
Step One: Understanding the Breakup and Damage Control
First things first: your relationship is OVER.
There's no 'getting it back'. There's no 'fighting for a second chance'. There's no song on the radio or cute little movie quote that's going to miraculously make your ex realize she loves you and fly back into your arms.
So when she dumps you? ACCEPT IT. Take it like a man, and a real man would do the only good thing: walk away.
Not only does walking away make you seem totally badass, but it actually helps the process of getting her back. This is because you're not being needy. You're not begging or pleading or being desperate. You're accepting your breakup for what it is; your girlfriend isn't as interested in you anymore. Which makes your next move pretty obvious:
You have to make her interested in you again.
None of that can happen until you've accepted the breakup to the point of actually agreeing with it. So say it with me: "Yeah, you're right. We're probably better off apart. Take it easy."
Step Two: Counter-Rejection to Turn the Tables
Know what hurts? Rejection. You already know this, because you just got rejected.
Know what doesn't hurt? Watching as your girlfriend has to go through that same rejection. Which means you need to very quickly and firmly counter-reject her in order to swing the pendulum of power back in your favor.
See, when your girlfriend broke things off she basically seized all the power. She left you powerless to do anything... or at least, just about anything.
There's only one way to get that power back again: you have to seize it from your exgirlfriend, and you have to take as much of it as you're able. And to do this, you need to employ these counter-rejection methods as soon as you possibly can.
The longer you wait? The worse things will be, and the more cold and distant she'll become. So don't take forever to make up your mind.
Step Three: Making Your Ex Miss You Through No Contact
Are you still calling your ex? Still texting her? Congratulations. You're systematically obliterating your chances of ever being her boyfriend again.
NOTHING is going to drive your girlfriend into the arms of some other guy faster than keeping that umbilical cord intact. By leaving these lines of communication wide open, you've created a breakup support system that allows your ex to float further and further away... until she's gone for good.
Are you trying to get
into the FRIEND ZONE?
"But we decided to still be friends..."
You can't be friends with a girl when you're still in love with her. And if you're reading this far, it's obvious you'll do just about anything to get this girl back.
So break all contact with your ex. Snap your phone in half if you need to. She's not going to want you back until she misses you first, and your girlfriend is never going to miss you until you're willing to disappear like a ninja from every aspect of her social life.
When your ex glances back to see where you went, she should see NOTHING. When she asks her friends about you, they should tell her you've been out laughing, playing around, and having the absolute time of your life. She should wonder why you haven't called. She should marvel at the fact you didn't even try to get her back.
And all of these things should make her totally insecure about her decision to end the relationship.
Step Four: Recreating the Guy She Fell In Love With
For this step, you need to think back to how you acted around your girlfriend when you first started dating her. Odds are pretty good your behaviors were much different in the beginning, because back then you were still trying to impress and seduce the hell out of her.
Getting her back requires that you do those things again. Not right away though, and not until after you've scored the reunion date will you show her this side of you again. But starting now, you have to keep it in mind. You can't get your ex to want you as a boyfriend again when you haven't made a single thing about the relationship more attractive than it was before.
And speaking of attractive, make sure you look and feel your best. Your appearance was what initially attracted your girlfriend to you in the first place, even before you opened your mouth to say a single word to her. So if during the course of your relationship, you let some aspects of your appearance go? Now's the time to fix it. During the NO CONTACT phase of the breakup, and before you get back in touch with her again.